My Third Drive By

Bullet riddled wall

Last night my apartment building was the victim of a drive by. In other words, someone shot at us. Now I can’t say for 100% that the drive by was aimed at me but I can say that most of the bullets fired were aimed towards the downstairs apartment, i.e., mine.

I remember sitting on the end of the bed, the shots were aimed at the back of the apartment building where the bedrooms are, thinking that the bullets really did sound a lot like firecrackers as they danced up, then down, and across the side of the building. I thought for sure that they’d killed my TV which sits in front of my bedroom window to block intruders.

I can’t say I was surprised by the drive by, it wasn’t my first and most likely, won’t be my last. And because all week long, at my job, ‘The Voices/Stalkers’ have been raging about how much stuff I have in my apartment, how my closet is packed with clothes, about how much money I spend, and how my books are making money.

Usually, that much interest, from ‘The Voices/Stalkers’ concerning my belongings, results in my being fired. But, right now, considering where I’m currently working, my being fired isn’t really an option, unless I do something totally off the wall, which I have no plans of doing. So, I figured ‘The Voices/Stalker’s would resort to their usual methods of operation, when they can’t get me fired, and that goes something like this:

1. Hire someone to do a drive by, thereby insuring them of an ironclad alibi. (A terrifying drive by gets you thinking about moving. An moving incurs a huge financial setback. Because of loosing your rent deposit on the old apartment and having to shell out money for deposit and first month’s rent on a new place, not to mention truck rental, paying someone to help you move, and so forth. That will definitely end the shopping spree for a while.

2. If that doesn’t do the trick, next they’ll mess with the car. A mysterious flat, missing oil pan, or trouble with the ignition.

3. If that doesn’t do, their third moves which usually does work and causes great financial loss and distress, is to trick one of the kids into doing something that gets them arrested. And we always pool money to get them out.

And that’s why, when the bullets rang out last night, I sat calmly watching TV, knowing exactly what was going on. And no, I didn’t call the Police because I knew you’d come out and waste a lot of my time asking me stupid and irrelevant questions like,

“Do you know of any reason why someone would want to hurt you?”

“Have you had any trouble in the neighborhood lately?”

All of which would make you sound stupid (Have I had any trouble in the neighborhood, lately?) and inept (Really, you don’t that you have a crazed freak screaming up the neighborhood?).

So, I decided not to call you sparing us both that. But I will tell you my true and honest answer to those two questions. “They shot up the place because they knew they could get away with it, because you, the Police, allow it.”

A Tiny Kitten With A Big Mouth

By
Eliza Ankum
Author of
Flight 404
Ruby Sanders
STALKED! By Voices
http://onethreethirteen.wordpress.com

 

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