For The Crutcher Family

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I wrote the following poem for Trayvon’s mother, Sybrina.  But I’d like to send it out as a condolence to the Crutcher Family.

Sybrina

I mourned so deeply that I hurt, physically.
I mourned for the children.
Mine, hers, and yes, even theirs.
I mourned, so deeply, because I knew her suffering
Like it was my own.
Because it is my own.
I know her agony, her tears, and her shame.
“Shame?” you ask.
Yes, because she was not there.
Oh, God how it must hurt knowing that he called for her
Yes! I am well acquainted with her demons.
Hate, anger, shame, guilt, remorse, and pity
Her demons are my very close companions.
Old friends with whom I commune daily.
With whom I share my deepest secrets, joys, and hopes.
They are everything to me.
And everything has been stilted and tinted by their presence
Nothing has escaped.
I have never eaten a single meal that they have not shared.
Drank a glass of wine that they did not pour
Or had conversation where they did not offer up their opinion
Yes, they are with me daily

Excerpt is from, ‘A Woman’s Voice: Book of Poems

By
Eliza D. Ankum

aka

A Tiny Kitten With A Big Mouth

 

Two For Two

First, there was George Zimmerman

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And now there’s Betty Shelby.

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Can the powers that be make it any clearer that there is NO justice in America for Blacks.

 

A Tiny Kitten With A Big Mouth

By

Eliza D. Ankum
Author of
Flight 404
Ruby Sanders (The Ruby and Jared Sage Book 1)
Jared Anderson (The Ruby and Jared Saga Book 2)
OneThreeThirteen – A Presidential Agent Novel Series
Dancing With The Fat Woman
Thou Shalt Eat Dust
A Woman’s Voice: A Book of Poems
STALKED! By Voices
https://24thehuntforrednovember.wordpress.com

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Selective Hearing

'I didn't hear you calling. I can't listen to everybody who yells at me.'

I have been on vacation this week, recovering from a bout of pneumonia.  The other day, I was watching Windy City Live before heading out to enjoy the sixty plus degree weather hoping to finish drying up the crap in my lungs.

I happened to catch the Host Chat segment that said Selective Hearing is a real thing.  I could have told you that!

Selective auditory attention or selective hearing is a type of selective attention and involves the auditory system of the nervous system. Selective hearing is characterized as the action in which people focus their attention on a specific source of a sound or spoken words.

In order to keep a roof over my head, food on the table, clothes on my back, and a car in the driveway, I’ve had to practice Selective Hearing since 1989.  Make no mistake about it, I’ve heard every word, every syllable, and every insult screamed at me by my stalkers.  I haven’t been spared a single thing

It’s not that I’m in denial or that I think I’m ‘hearing voices’, it’s that I’ve tried getting help but I’ve a single Black female nobody.  And not a very attractive one at that.  But before I was informed of that, I tried getting help from:

The Maywood Police.  They drugged me and told me I was crazy.

The FBI.  They did investigated but decided to use the stalkers to clean up political corruption in Chicago.

The Cook County State’s Attorney’s Office refused to act because that would have compromised the FBI.

Two lawyers (Suburban and City of Chicago) – too afraid their office secrets would be told.

The Dupage County State’s Attorney.  He was sick at the time and only wanted to concentrate on his health and his family.  Totally understandable.

And finally back to the Maywood Police who tole me, “We don’t know of anything happening in the Community.”

It took me along time to accept that I was SOL.  But I did.

Now, as to  what sparked this post.  It was an interview with past Cook County State’s Attorney, Anita Alverez, who during the interview said, “She had a hard year.” (She was referring to the 2016 election campaign).

I nearly fell off my chair laughing.  She had a hard year.  I couldn’t get over that. Yes, I know you lost your coveted job, Miss Alverez.  But with all due respect, Ms. Alverez, you have NOT had a hard year.  You had a difficult year.  Yes, you did.  But you have NOT had a hard year.  I have absolutely no sympathy for you.  You try going through what I’ve gone through since 1989 and then you can talk to me about having a hard year.  When people insult you to your face, call you every name in the book, assault your body and destroy your personal property. And there’s no where to go for help.

Until then, you enjoy your nice house, your child, your comfortable severance pay, and your next high level high paying job.  I’ll be thinking about you as I try  to make ends meet on $1200.00 a month, Social Security, when I retire in February of 2018.

But right now, I’m be too busy trying to save every dime I can get to think about you and your ‘hard year.’

A Tiny Kitten With A Big Mouth

By
Eliza D. Ankum
Author of
Flight 404
Ruby Sanders – A Novel
Jared Anderson (The Ruby and Jared Saga)
OneThreeThirteen – A Presidential Agent Novel Series
Dancing With The Fat Woman
Thou Shalt Eat Dust
A Woman’s Voice – Book of Poems
STALKED! By Voices

 

 

 

 

Rhymefest On Windy City Live

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Tonight, I was watching a rebroadcast of Friday’s Windy City Live which featured Rhymefest(Grammy, Golden Globe, and Oscar winner) who shared his story of being robbed at gunpoint, in Chicago, and trying to report it to the Police.

Up until hearing to his story, I had personalized my experience of trying to report my stalking to the Maywood Police.  I had assumed that I was being treated the way I was because I was a nobody, or so they assumed.

The first time I reported being stalked, I was told that I had suffered a breakdown and had imagined the whole thing.  And I was sent to out-patient therapy where I was drugged.

The second time I went to the Maywood Police, (after losing my secretarial job at Exxon Company U.S.A. in New Orleans, because of the stalking and returning to Illinois), I was told that nobody knew what I was talking about when I complained about being lied to, with regards to the stalking, and drugged and that nothing was going on.

The third time, I sort of lost my temper — after losing yet another job because of the stalking, I told the Police Chief, (not the current one) “that if you can’t find this woman as loud as she’s screaming, then you need a flashlight and a compass to find your ass.”  At that point, he jumped to his feet and put his hands on his gun and so did the other officers in the room.  I, feared for my life at that point, so I left.

But the stalking, and the insults, and the detriment to my family were so great, that I tried several more times (whenever I heard that there was a new Police Chief).  But after reading about theyoung man who was assaulted while in Police custody and listening to mothers of murdered sons testify about how they were treated, when they sought help, I NEVER WENT BACK.

But listening to Ryhmefest’s testimony, now I know that it wasn’t personal, but just how the Police operate  — Chicago and Maywood.

But I still won’t go back.  I have and I will learn to live with the stalking.  Much the same as Chicagoans are learning to live with the gun violence.  Where can we go?

P.S.  And NO, I won’t be in Church on Sunday, because of the stalking.  I’m taking heed of Hebrews 12:15 Amplified Bible Classic Edition

Exercise foresight and be on the watch to look [after one another], to see that no one falls back from and fails to secure God’s grace (His unmerited favor and spiritual blessing), in order that no root of resentment (rancor, bitterness, or hatred) shoots forth and causes trouble and bitter torment, and the many become contaminated and defiled by it—

Eliza D. Ankum
Author of
Flight 404
Ruby Sanders
Jared Anderson
OneThreeThirteen
Dancing With The Fat Woman
Thou Shalt Eat Dust
https://24thehuntforrednovember.wordpress.com
STALKED! By Voices